another cycle, another attempt

My husband and I met with my doctor earlier today.┬áThis cycle goes as follows: Provera helped start my period, I did not ovulate, I did not get pregnant and I did not get my period again naturally.┬áMy doctor believes that my body is simply not ovulating. No ovulation = no period = no pregnancy. I was unofficially given the “infertile” diagnosis tonight. My doctor doesn’t want to put it on paper officially, but she says that as of now, she’s going to treat me for infertility. She believes that my body will do what it’s supposed to (ovulate and have a period) with the help of Provera and Clomid, so for the next 3 months (or until I get pregnant–fingers crossed!) I’m taking Provera to start my cycle and Clomid to help me ovulate. If nothing changes in the next 3 cycles, I will have further testing done, like ultrasounds and dye-tests of my fallopian tubes and ovaries. I’ll be taking 100 mg of Clomid this cycle, and my doctor, my husband and I are all crossing our fingers that that will jump start my reproductive system. Wish me luck!

tomorrow

Tomorrow is the day. If I don’t start my period by tomorrow morning, I’ll take a pregnancy test. If the test is negative and I still don’t have my period by Thursday, I’ll take another test. Rinse and repeat on Friday. If I have another negative pregnancy test on Friday and I still haven’t seen my period yet, I will call my doctor and schedule an appointment to discuss starting Clomid.
This is the 8th cycle of our journey and as much as I would love to be pregnant, neither or us (my husband or me) has a good feeling. I try as hard as possible not to hyper-focus on trying to get pregnant but the idea consumes me sometimes. However, I’m sort of resolved to the fact that it just wasn’t meant to be over the past 8 months. I don’t believe in the whole “everything happens for a reason” mentality but obviously my body hasn’t been ready to house another human the past 8 months. Maybe this month or next month will be the right time.

I officially hate waiting.

If I didn’t hate waiting before this trying to conceive process, I sure hate it now. I feel like I’m constantly waiting. Waiting for my period, waiting for ovulation/pregnancy test results, waiting to hear back from my doctor, waiting, waiting, waiting! I had a blood test yesterday morning at 8:15 am to see if I ovulated this cycle. If the results are negative, I’ll meet with my doctor to discuss starting Clomid. If I did ovulate, I’ll have to wait (shocker!) another week to take a pregnancy test. We have been anxiously awaiting the results since yesterday morning (meanwhile my husband and I may have developed ulcers from worrying) and we’ve heard nothing. I called my doctor’s nurse about 30 minutes ago but she wasn’t available. This waiting game is killing me. I know that I can’t control it and if I didn’t ovulate it’s not the end of the world, but I need to know what’s going on with my body. If I didn’t ovulate again, that’s a good indicator that my ovaries aren’t operating properly and we’ll have to take a new director with our TTC journey (i.e. Clomid). I just want to know what’s happening and why my body isn’t cooperating…

no sign of the big O

I had my period this cycle thanks to Provera from 12/24-12/28 so I’ve been taking ovulation tests since Sunday trying to find out if I ovulated too. So far, there’s no sign of ovulation. I’ll keep testing and I have a blood test scheduled on the 13th to find out (officially) whether or not I ovulated. I haven’t ovulated for the past 2 cycles and before that one lone ovulation that occurred at the end of October, I hadn’t ovulated for 5 months. I’m very anxious to find out if I ovulated or not and so is my husband. I just want my body to cooperate. Looking back at when we started trying, I never would have guessed that we’d be here now, 8 months later, talking about possible infertility.