final update (for now)

I wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who has listened, read and supported on this blog over the past year. I started this blog as a way to vent, and it has become a source of comfort and support. I also thought that since you all have been there for me through this journey, I should let you know about the update with our trying to conceive journey.

We have decided to stop trying. Why? Let me list the reasons:

1) The support we receive from most of our family really translates to pressure. I have a few family members who just want me to be happy, child or not, but a lot of my husband’s and my family have been pressuring us to get pregnant as soon as possible (while disguising that pressure as support), and that’s hard to handle after a while.
2) The stress of trying to get pregnant has gotten to be too much. We promised ourselves that we would not let this process ruin our relationship, and it was starting to negatively affect our marriage. We were snipping at each other all the time, unable to enjoy the little things, and we were constantly worried about whether this or that would prevent us from getting pregnant. That stress just isn’t worth it right now.
3) I’ve put my body through so much physical turmoil over the past year, and I’m ready to have my body back. I’m so tired of the headaches, bloating and gas, and horrible acne, and while this may sound selfish, I’m over feeling bad half of each month.
4) We are both exhausted from all of the waiting. We wait for my period to come, then we wait for the Clomid to kick in, then we wait to have sex on the right days, then we have to wait to find out whether or not I ovulated, then we have to wait to take a pregnancy test, and then the cycle starts all over again. People underestimate how difficult it is to be in a perpetual state of waiting.
5) We have a lot going on right now (my husband just recently started a new job and he’s starting to take more responsibility on there, I just accepted a new position, plus we’ve got a million home improvement projects to do) and, if we’re really honest with ourselves, we already don’t have a lot of time for ourselves and to do the things we love to do, so we’ve realized that trying to hurry this process is silly.

All of this may seem selfish to others, but we have to do what’s right for us, and if we have even a small feeling of doubt, this is clearly not the right time to have a baby. Again, I want to thank you all for following our journey and being supportive through this journey. This doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the end for our journey; just look at it as us pausing our journey. Sometime in the future we’ll press play again.

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