cycle day 16

Today is cycle day 16 and I don’t have much to report. I haven’t gotten a positive ovulation test yet, but I’m holding onto hope that it will happen this month. I’m scared that my body is following a pattern. Month 1 on Clomid 100mg I ovulated and month 2 on the same dosage, I didn’t ovulate. Month 3 my doc upped it to Clomid 150mg and I ovulated but didn’t get pregnant. This is month 4 and I’m on the same dosage as last month, and I’m scared that I’m not going to ovulate. My doctor says we can keep trying with Clomid through the full 6 months, but if I don’t ovulate this month, things won’t be looking so good for us. I don’t want to work with a fertility specialist so we decided that we’ll keep trying with Clomid for the full 6 months and if nothing good happens, we’ll keep trying naturally until we can afford adoption. I try very hard to stay in the present moment and not get too caught up with the what-ifs of the future, but some days that’s hard (including today).

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silence

It’s been a week of silence on the blog, which is good because that means I’ve been crazy busy! Here’s what you’ve missed over the last week:

1) I found out on Tuesday that I got the marketing internship that I really, really wanted! To top it off, if they like me enough after 60-90 days, they will bring me on permanently as a marketing designer! I’m so excited! I was also contacted on Monday about being a freelance writer for my city. My hometown is starting a website dedicated to all of the improvements and changes the city is making (my city is really starting to become a cool and innovative place) and they need writers to write the stories and blog updates, and I was chosen to be one of those writers!

2) I started my 4th cycle of using Clomid last Friday. Today is cycle day 10 and so we begin Sextravaganza 2014 Part IV. I caved and bought ovulation tests (at the suggestion of my doc) but as of this morning, I have not ovulated yet. I’m on the highest dose of Clomid that my doc can give me, so I really hope I ovulate again this month.

3) I’m so ridiculously close to being done with my kitchen project! I have one tiny area to finish still (I’m officially done with all the doors!) this weekend and then I am done! Our kitchen will have made a complete and utter transformation by the time I’m done and I’m so happy with the (almost) finished product!

4) I only broke down and cried once this week, and it was only for a few seconds! This is progress, people!

no sign of the big O

I had my period this cycle thanks to Provera from 12/24-12/28 so I’ve been taking ovulation tests since Sunday trying to find out if I ovulated too. So far, there’s no sign of ovulation. I’ll keep testing and I have a blood test scheduled on the 13th to find out (officially) whether or not I ovulated. I haven’t ovulated for the past 2 cycles and before that one lone ovulation that occurred at the end of October, I hadn’t ovulated for 5 months. I’m very anxious to find out if I ovulated or not and so is my husband. I just want my body to cooperate. Looking back at when we started trying, I never would have guessed that we’d be here now, 8 months later, talking about possible infertility.